For INTERSTATE HOTELS & RESORTS
Molly Dickinson, concept development & copywriting
SCRIPT: BAR STAFF TRANING VIDEO
Video opens with the HOST standing just inside the bar entrance, behind him,
the scene is blurred but clearly visible as a bar setup.
HOST: [As the intro music swells and the opening credits roll—impatiently awaiting his cue, apparently unaware he is already on camera]
How’s the hair? Tie okay? Makeup on fleek?
Opening credits (on-screen):
An IHR production
in association with IMI Agency
and Brick Film Entertainment
HOST: [Suddenly assuming character as the credits and music fade: a kind of Rod-Serling-meets-J-K-Simmons (of the Farmer’s Insurance commercials)]
This may look like your typical hotel lobby bar—gleaming counters, inviting stools, a scattering of high-tops, disproportionately large décor and accessories—but, in reality, it’s so much less than that.
Welcome, to the Lost-Revenue Zone.
On-screen Title: THE LOST-REVENUE ZONE
HOST: The stories you are about to see are real. The mistakes are real. The losses are real. The people…are plastic.
Join me, Red Billings, as we begin at the beginning.
A man walks into a bar…
act 1: the missing bartender
HOST: Good evening. Bright tonight, isn’t it? Eight p.m. and the lights are up high enough to warn ships away. Just as well, perhaps, because this is no place for a thirsty sailor, as one unhappy little chap is about to discover in…
On-screen Title: THE MISSING BARTENDER
THREE LADIES walk into the bar.
LADIES: [Together] Whooooooooo! Whooooooohooooooo! Whooo!
LADY 1: Yeah, ladies night! Let’s do this, girls! [Takes group selfie]
LADY 2: First round of cosmos is on meeeee!
LADY 3: I am going to validate you SO MUCH tonight!
LADY 1: [Looking around and not seeing the bartender] Ummm, hello? Is this place even open right now?
LADY 2: [Looking right at LEONARD]. There is literally no one here. I will literally die if I do not get a drink soon!
LADY 3: [To LADY 2] I love your dress! You are so pretty! This bar does not deserve you.
LADY 1: [To ALL LADIES] A-greed! We’re outtie.
LADIES exit, resuming their collective Whooos!
Three BUSINESS PEOPLE walk into the bar.
BUSINESSPERSON 1: Punt that one. We’ll circle back tomorrow. How’s your bandwidth?
BUSINESSPERSON 2: I’m out of pocket. Let’s not try to boil the ocean here. Conference call?
BUSINESSPERSON 3: I have a hard stop at 10. [To LEONARD] Are you on point for this? Where are my deliverables?
LEONARD shrugs nervously and shakes his head, confused.
BUSINESSPERSON 3: [With growing frustration] Innovate! Drive more value!
BUSINESSPERSON 2: [Interrupting decisively] Pivot. We need to make a lateral move here…. [Pregnant pause] Lightbulb moment!
[BUSINESSPERSONS 1 & 3 lean in expectantly] ...I’m putting Applebee’s on the table.
BUSINESSPERSONS 1 & 3: Action that! Approved! Approved. Approved.
[As they leave, en masse.]